When you think of the word “resilience”, what comes to your mind? Maybe images of a martial arts competitor getting back up after repeatedly being knocked down by his opponent, or an injured basketball player working hard at physical therapy so that he can come back strong next season. Resiliency is associated with refusal to back down in the midst of suffering or opposition – an ideal often embodied by both athletes and ancient warriors.

Merriam Webster defines resilience as “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change”, while Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “the ability of a substance to return to its usual shape after being bent, stretched, or pressed”.

A homesick soldier fighting to the death during World War II after recovering from an injury certainly fits the description of resilient. So would a childhood cancer survivor spending hours in the studio so that she can audition for her dream professional ballet company in six weeks.

They’re both pushing back against the obstacles that have been thrown at them, resisting the temptation to give up and instead fighting for what they love.

But what about the college senior pushing through her final semester in order to finish her studies and finally get her master’s? What about the mother who faithfully loves and supports her two adult children despite their indifference to or even rebellion against her biblical advice? And what about the tired single father working multiple jobs to support his three children through high school?

All of these people are pushing back against life’s obstacles and adjusting to change, although their situations aren’t as drastic as those of the soldier and cancer survivor. They’re putting one foot in front of the other and giving all that they have for who and what they love, despite the constant opposition being thrown in their faces day in and day out.

They’re just as resilient as the first two examples I first gave at the beginning, but it might not seem that way until you look beneath the surface.

We can forget that attributes like courage, perseverance, generosity, – and yes, resilience – are part of our everyday lives. Usually we think that to be generous we must give away five thousand dollars to charity, or that joyfulness requires us to wear a beaming grin on our faces at all times. But often the smallest actions are the most impactful, like buying a lonely classmate their favorite candy bar or baking your friend’s favorite cookies for their birthday.

Some of my fondest memories are of small things people have done for me, probably without realizing how much it meant to me. My youth leader’s excited face when I made it to an event I wasn’t sure I could come to; my friend reaching out when he hadn’t seen me at church in a couple weeks; the way certain co-workers always remember my name and say hello whenever I come to work.

I’m not arguing that more conspicuous actions aren’t important or meaningful. Jesus’ death on the cross was a very public and noticeable act, and if He hadn’t done it we wouldn’t have a chance of salvation! But never discount the attitudes and decisions that are almost imperceptible, and might even seem pointless at times.

Virtues like resilience aren’t quickly learned; they’re built over a lifetime of obstacles, pain, and unexpected change. If you want to add resilience to your character, or any other virtue, really, then take advantage of every unexpected or hurtful situation that comes your way. It’s the seemingly inconsequential, faithful actions we take that will lead to a life characterized by resilience and strength – not one prominent act in an impulsive moment of valor.